My Love

History in a Teacup

We found each other in the midst of the thousands and millions
    Who clamoured for attention and played amongst the binary universe unfolding

 I did not think that someone so far away (even further than I knew) would be interested in truly getting to know me and my many failings, afflictions, addictions, and needs

                                  Then, sooner than I imagined

She came,
                    bearing gifts from across the ocean
gifts magical, intoxicating, and freely given

I did not know how to react

                                I was still a child inside

            She came from castles and cathedrals and gondolas, and smoke,                            to a little cabin with a wood stove in the mountains
        It was kind of like camping, indoors, she said

I was persnickety and stubborn and held my hands out before me and shouted, STOP!
But she would not

                          I could not resist her forever and, inside, I don't believe I ever wanted to
I just couldn't believe that it was real

And then
Lying in a bed
All a-tangle of wires and tubes
Darkness creeping into my eyes
I looked out beyond the frenzied healers and helpers and saw her looking at me like she was the first one, the only one other than my children, who really cared and would miss me if I crossed over the dark river behind me

                                    And I fell forever

Now we are together
And we try to make a home
And we try to guide our children
And we seek answers to foolish questions and grow together as we grow our food and our lives and our experience and our ideas

And we talk and talk and talk and sometimes she watches me cry - because I am so afraid - and she holds me and watches me as I sleep and I am afraid I will never be enough to deserve her